From Victim to Victory The Recovery Source
From Victim to Victory

From Victim to Victory

Empowering The Voice Within; Written by Natashah Khan

August 8, 2017

TODAY I am committed to being a source of enlightenment, contribution and to encourage everyone that I meet rather than being a source of pain and a victim of my past. 

My Victory is to do whatever it takes to create change and impact the lives of families and individuals who feel broken due to the circumstance of struggling with the disease of addiction.

What does it mean to be a Victim?

Being a victim is individualized, for me it’s my own interpretations and emotions surrounding a variety of circumstances that occurred in my life as a young child and through adulthood.  My experiences as a victim varied from being subjected to abuse, to emotional neglect and ultimately homelessness.

I recalled feeling empty inside, scared and alone not knowing where to turn or how to cope. Due to the traumatic circumstances surrounding my life, I felt as if my voice was silenced and no one could hear me cry. Somewhere deep down inside I knew that I still had that voice.  Sadly, I didn’t quite know how to express myself, or who I could I trust to tell how I was truly feeling.

For too long I allowed my negative feelings and interpretations of being a victim control me. I was controlled by drugs and alcohol. When that wasn’t enough I allowed myself to be controlled by sex and other people. I lost sight of who I was and had no clue as to who I had become; the only familiar thing was carrying the torch of my victim experience, it’s where I felt comfortable and ironically safe.

Despite all the chaos and turmoil, I knew in the depths of my soul that I was born for something greater, that my circumstances of the past didn’t define me nor determined my footsteps. Instead of letting the fire in the torch of my victim experience burn my entire life down to the ground; I experienced a victorious moment; or as I like to say a “GOD” moment.  After reaching my “bottom” - divorce, losing primary custody of my two daughters and not wanting to live anymore; there was this little voice inside of me whispering and encouraging me to lift my head up and to look forward.

After battling depression, anxiety and drug addiction for over 15 years, what lay ahead seemed unattainable, but it gave me the hope I needed to move forward. I returned to college where I earned my Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology. Continuing my education created a space for self-discovery. A year later, I decided to get sober. I turned my life over and surrendered to a higher power; which created the opportunity for me to learn the 12 step spiritual principles that led to my spiritual awakening on the pre-destined journey of my purposeful life.

My journey has been filled with so many different “grungy” experiences; however, the last 7 years in sobriety has been nothing less than victorious for me. After college, I had the privilege to work alongside amazing mentors who shined the light for the path that I continue to walk on today. Through education on the disease of addiction, receiving my own personal therapy sessions and attending twelve step meetings, I became more aware of the “voice” within and regained power over my life. One valuable lesson along the journey is that my strength doesn’t come from being a martyr; instead in my defenselessness lays all my power and where victory is found. I always say “I wish I knew then what I know now”, because the miracle, the victory came on April 10th 2010. “The day I decided to get sober both chemically and emotionally”.

Being a mother, wife and professional woman in recovery is very humbling as I am reminded every day that I am not my circumstances nor am I defined by the outcome. I was once told that “how you do one thing in your life is how you do everything in your life”. My source of victory comes from GOD as he is the center of my being and everything I am part of in this world.

Today my story is filled with gratitude.  I choose to live and have my journey be a living example for myself, my family, recovering addicts and for anyone who is struggling with addictions of all types. I have the ability to love myself and others unconditionally; GOD’s unconditional love for me, ignites a fire in my spirit that speaks to me and reminds me every day I am a worthy, lovable, and perfectly imperfect. I get to choose that my story today and my continued journey for a purposeful life is one filled with joy, happiness, love, authenticity and just “BEING”.  I get to live an abundant victorious life.

Today I have the honor of sharing a part of my journey with you, to shine a light in the darkest places of your lives and to give you hope that there is always a way out; not through death, but through defeating our past circumstances and boldly stepping into our purposeful life. We all have dreams, goals and a burning desire to make a difference in the world; whether it’s through music, art, dance, or helping others. What’s your Vision for the future?

My Vision for the future is to educate and bring awareness on the disease of addiction, provide greater understanding on chemical and non-chemical addictions alike; while removing, the stigmas associated with this mental health disease. My Passion is to be a source of compassion to families and individuals, to contribute in rebuilding and restoring broken relationships all impacted by addiction. My Victory is to have the ability to assist those in need to learn how to heal through compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love.  Let’s take a stand together to break down the walls that separate us and break the chains that keep us in bondage.

Honesty, courage and faith worked for me.  It gave me the strength to empower the voice within which has allowed me to share my story and help change the lives of all those who need my help the most.

A victorious life awaits you… It’s up to you to create a different experience! What are you waiting for, if you want victory, email me so we can work together to make a difference in ourselves, each other and in the world!

Natashah Khan, MS in Counseling-Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern#9979

Bio: With over 16 years of experience in the field of Mental Health and Addiction Treatment and is a Registered Mental Health Counselor; She has earned a Bachelor's Degree in Organizational Management and has a Master's Level Degree in Counseling Psychology. Currently Natashah is pursuing a Certified Addictions Professional Degree (C.A.P) and in the process of obtaining her Licensure in Mental Health.

16 years ago Natashah entered the field of Mental Health as a Behavioral Health Tech at a local Psychiatric Hospital and after earning her Bachelor's Degree continued working in the field as a Case Manager and then continued her career as a Therapist.

In 2006 she moved to Comal County Texas where she specialized in Forensics Interviewing and as a Program Director developed a program that would allow Law Enforcement and Child Protective Services to work together to provide a safe environment for Drug Endangered Children.

In 2009 Natashah returned to Florida where she earned her Master's Degree and continued with her career at a Drug and Alcohol Treatment Facility where she gained leadership skills during her role as Lead Therapist; also in the last 4 years had the opportunity to experience the roles of Clinical Coordinator, and Acting/Interim Clinical Director.

In Addition, Natashah has worked in an array of different treatment modalities including residential, inpatient, outpatient and family programs. Natashah prides herself not only being passionate about the work she does with addicts and their families, but she also seeks new ways to improve her own life. Natashah is a counselor by trade and is proficient in working with dual diagnosis, personality disorders, individuals,families and couples.