My name is Katherine Allee, I’m turning 23 years old in June 2016 and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. Life for me is very different today than it used to be. I used to be embarrassed about my story, but now I hope to reach out and share my past to help other women in recovery realize that they can make it. Since I was 14, I was always rebellious, always doing what I wanted to do regardless of how it made my family or anyone feel. But in 2012 was when things got worse than I could have ever imagined. I was 19 years old and I met who I thought was the love of my life, his name was Jeff; he had an apartment and moved me in with him rather quickly. I was working, had a car, and had money in savings, friends, and a normal 19 year olds life. This changed dramatically after a few weeks of being with him. I got introduced to smoking crack and that lasted a few weeks until I graduated to using heroin IV.
I still remember making Jeff promise me that no matter what to never let me get so bad that I would have to tell my parents and go into rehab. It was confusing, I slept all the time, couldn’t get to work so they eventually fired me. Jeff couldn’t pay his rent and we both were evicted and decided to move in with his parents. Life was basically one big lie, could never tell the truth, and barely look at myself in the mirror. My parents would call and call and I would be too out of it to pick up the phone just to let them know I was alive. Within 6 months, I had been in three car accidents from driving too fast and under the influence, involved with the court system to the point where I was at a different court date every single month due to drug charges or hit and runs. I was a complete disaster and had lost complete control of my life. Finally, Jeff moved out of town with his brother and left me.
I then met Crate, Christmas Eve 2013 and him and I ever since were inseparable. I mean he was my best friend. He was very wealthy, had a good job but drank to excess. I stuck around him because he supported my addiction with heroin and I never had to go without. I lived with him for almost a year. About three months after him supporting my habit, he decided he wanted to start too, so instead of telling him it was the devils drug and don’t ruin your life like I did mine at this point, I helped him. This too got out of our control within no time. In June 2014 I left, finally went into rehab in Cambridge, Ohio. I was 82 pounds, my organs were failing, I could not eat solid food, and could barely walk. I stayed there for three weeks and went to live with my mom afterwards. I unintentionally developed an eating disorder and body dysmorphia throughout my drug and alcohol abuse, causing me to literally look like a walking skeleton.
So it’s taken quite a while to get healthy again. After I had a few months out of rehab, Crate passed away due to heroin overdose at age of 31, December 21, 2014. To this day the thought of all this, the person I had become hurts my heart. I’ve learned that it does not define who I am, how I rise after falling does.
I am a member of Lilly Pad Halfway sober living home in West Palm Beach, FL. I am working a program in recovery, I have a huge support system, and I am extremely grateful to be alive and living sober. I never thought it would be possible to have close, strong relationships with my family again, or get through the day without picking up. But like I said, life is very different today, I gave myself the best thing I could have, I pushed through the tough times, the unbearable times, times I seriously thought that I could not go any further, God gave me just enough strength, courage, willingness, faith and hope to make it. I have a purpose in life, now I am standing here today. I am a proud big sister, I am a loving daughter, a niece, and a loyal friend so so many people that I love.
“Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear stop you.”